Donna (elfinmajic) wrote,
Donna
elfinmajic

mrs

today i got the news you don't want to hear - your in your head affair is ending-- how stupid is this...
why i find it devastating I don't know, but when someone is in your head a lot, you hate for them to go away. I see Mrs everyday and today he announced he is moving on... it is like the secret thoughts in your head will be over because i won't see him again... and it makes me sad inside because to me he was more in my head than in real life. You know how you convinece yourself - your life revolves around him. You get up and go to a wierd job because of him, you think of any reason to speak or just stand beside him. You watch his reactions to everything... you think about what he is wearing... and it makes me ill that I have to start a new relationship with someone who is NOT as incredible as him. On the other hand, he is moving on... we have nothing but a work relationship with HIS side being totally totally professional and mine only wishful thinking... but it leaves me wishing someone wanted me in that same way.... just to have another option than where I am...
so am I sick at heart... yeah heartsick is true...

so I m sickeningly sappy tonight and sad...
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